3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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