i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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