I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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