Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
