I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
