So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
