Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
