Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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