I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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