mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
