I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
