Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it's like heaven, but drunker
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
