"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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