Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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