Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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