how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i now understand why vodka
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
