I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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