I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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