you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
