I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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