I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
