im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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