...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
