Will you blow on my dice?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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