So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
