Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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