What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
