I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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