I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
