And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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