420 ftw
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
