nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
