i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
