is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
