He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
