I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
