I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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