whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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