I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
