Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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