Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
