my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
