I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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