New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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