I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
