You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
