god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
