i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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