i don't like sucking hair
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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