Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
