I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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