Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
