I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
