If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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