We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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