im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
