physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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