so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
