he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
